Note: This is a work of satire and not intended to be considered factual in any way.
DeAndre Cortez Way, who goes by his stage name Soulja Boy, has had a troubled history with Nintendo. Weeks ago, Nintendo threated a lawsuit after he planned the release of an illegal gaming console. Just yesterday, Boy claimed that he was the reason Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime decided to retire this year. Now, the rapper is claiming he is the real creator behind the NES and in fact, Nintendo stole his creation.
“Yea, man, I’m the original creator of the NES,” said Boy. “I launched the NES myself and Nintendo stole my name to call their company the same name. I also developed Zelda and Mario and all those games.”
With these revelations coming to light, Boy says he will sue Nintendo to ensure he gets a cut of the profits from his invention.
“I mean, I created games as good as Aladdin on the NES,” Boy said. “It’s simply unfair for them to take all the credit and make all the money on my invention.”
But wasn’t he born in 1990?
When we pointed out that the original Famicom launched in Japan in 1983, seven years before Soulja Boy was born, he quickly said that the question was “fake news.”
“Ugh, I can’t stand you would stoop so low as to bring these bullshit alternative facts here,” he said. “That thing about the Famicom launching in the 80s? That’s clear fake news. I made the NES fair and square. You can’t change the facts. This is why websites that supposedly call themselves ‘news’ like Nintendo Enthusiast suck so much.”
While reading lawsuit filings, we also discovered that Soulja Boy is currently suing the Pokemon Company, claiming that he caught all the Pokemon first and thus owns the rights to all of them.
When asked about this lawsuit, Boy said that “I’m the OG Pokemon Master. Those Pokemon are mine.”
Boy is also currently suing our website for using the name of a brand he owns.
“Look at me,” began an email that was sent to us. “Look at me. I am Nintendo now.”
Eli buys virtually every Nintendo title that comes out but has expanded his collection to include amiibo. He hasn’t taken them out of their boxes, though, so he might be a bit insane. When not playing video games, Eli likes writing about politics and games. He also runs a decent amount. Outside.