According to reports, the old man in Breath of the Wild is depressed. The man, who goes by Charles O’Donnell, said he waited for 100 years for Link to wake up, hoping that he would make new friends after most of Hyrule’s population died years earlier. Instead, Link ran right off to save the world without ever saying hi to Charles.
“It’s just so sad,” said Charles. “Most of my family died in the great catastrophe and I’ve been alone for over 100 years. Now, my only potential friend doesn’t even want to talk to me. I was so ready to teach Link how to climb rocks and eat apples.”
Charles has spent the last three days straight laying in bed.
Note: This is a work of satire and not intended to be considered factual in any way.
We caught up with Link to ask him why he ignored the dude that was clearly waiting for him outside his cave.
“Oh, I just didn’t notice him,” said Link. “Guess he just isn’t that important.”
After hearing that, Charles became even further disheartened. He vowed to not help Link if he ever needed it again.
What happens next in Breath of the Wild?
Unfortunately, this became problematic six hours later when Link discovered he was hungry. Since he never talked to the old man, he did not learn how to cook food items.
Unfortunately for the world, Link decided to eat an apple without cooking it first. The apple gave Link poisoning and he was unable to save the world from Ganon in Breath of the Wild. No more Zelda games are planned at this time.
Eli buys virtually every Nintendo title that comes out but has expanded his collection to include amiibo. He hasn’t taken them out of their boxes, though, so he might be a bit insane. When not playing video games, Eli likes writing about politics and games. He also runs a decent amount. Outside.