In what appears to be a sighting as rare as a unicorn, Nintendo Enthusiast has confirmed that one gamer has found a custom Smash Bros. stage that does not have any genitalia. Yes, we are just as surprised as you are. Despite millions of stages being uploaded, each with some sort of private part hidden inside it, one stage appears to be completely “Safe for Work.”

The journey to find the Smash stage

“It was one of the hardest things I had to do in my life,” said the gamer who discovered the dickless stage. He prefers to stay anonymous in order to avoid attention. “I thought, wow this has to be a joke. I looked diligently to ensure there weren’t any female parts either — you know how sometimes people try to sneak those into the gaming community — and I can confirm that there is nothing at all inappropriate about this Smash stage.”

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Currently, the stage is being validated for authenticity by the Video Game Museum. As soon as we hear back of its 100 percent genuineness, we will update the article with an exact stage number so our readers can experience the stage for themselves.

Note: This is a work of satire and not intended to be considered factual in any way.

Eli Pales
Eli buys virtually every Nintendo title that comes out but has expanded his collection to include amiibo. He hasn't taken them out of their boxes, though, so he might be a bit insane. When not playing video games, Eli likes writing about politics and games. He also runs a decent amount. Outside.

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