My fellow Pokémon trainers, things just took a turn for the worst. This week, our global community became besieged by a nefarious group of otherworldly ne’er-do-wells who go by the name Team GO Rocket. These heartless thugs—who experiment on innocent Pokémon to turn them into unwittingly vicious “Shadow Pokémon”—started appearing in droves earlier this week. Last night, we lost communication with Professor Willow after all Pokémon GO channels suddenly went dark. As we feared, all Pokémon GO social media got hijacked by Team GO Rocket.

“Your world is our world!”

In their wake, they left a countdown to midnight Eastern time tonight, July 28. Time just ran out, and with the countdown’s end came a chilling statement from the criminal organization, broadcasted to trainers the world over in-game, through emails, and on social media among other means.

Trainers…

For three years we have been watching. The world of Pokémon GO is rife with unlimited resources. This privilege is wasted on Trainers like you who lack the vision to exploit this vast world of resources and Pokémon.

You walk around and spin your PokéStops like this is some kind of game. You battle in your Gyms and rejoice when they change colors. You care for Pokémon as though they’re something more than tools! What a waste of potential!

We’ve brought our Shadow Pokémon, strengthened to unimaginable levels that you could never reach through powering up alone. We’re here to take over your PokéStops and steal from their unlimited supply of resources. Can’t you see the beauty of our evil?

This is just the beginning. Your resources are our resources. Your Pokémon are our Pokémon. Your world is our world! You can’t stop us. Professor Willow, Spark, Blanche, Candela, and most of all, you—stay out of our way!

We follow the villainous path of those before us—and we will succeed in finally bringing Giovanni’s vision to the world! If you insist on trying to disrupt our plans, we will make you feel a world of pain!

—Team GO Rocket

GO Rocket mobilizes

Worst of all, they intend to make good on their threats. We saw it during the New York City invasion, where they vandalized public property and tried to overwhelm trainers in the Big Apple with sheer numbers by invading every PokéStop in the city. While we looked the other way, the villainous team was preparing to enact their real plan behind-the-scenes:

 

True, things may look bleak now, but don’t lose hope! Before losing connection, the professor and our brave team leaders tasked us with the special research “A Troubling Situation” in anticipation of just such a day. We fought back against plenty of those evil Team GO Rocket grunts and purified several of their Shadow Pokémon already, so what’s a few million more between us all?

Are you going to let Team GO Rocket do as they please? Do you plan on ignoring Shadow Pokémon in suffering when they desperately need your help? Of course you’re not! So in the meantime, power up your best Pokémon, share battle strategies with your friends, and stock up on plenty of those Revives and Potions. These greedy grunts don’t intend to play fair.

Jeffrey McDonell
Rare import from Canada, lover of all things video game music and remixes, desk jockey by day, and Nintendo Enthusiast by night. I grew up on Nintendo consoles since the Game Boy Advance and GameCube, with standouts like Sonic, Mario, and Zelda defining my childhood.

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