As I wade through the literally hundreds of requests for Goku in Super Smash Bros., as well as hundreds upon hundreds of \”Please Sakurai\” posts made on Nintendo’s Miiverse, I ponder one thing; is Miiverse Nintendo’s greatest creation? I often believe that it’s more important to the Wii U than the GamePad or any other part of the system. However, in the words of W. Somerset Maugham, \”There are two good things in life — freedom of thought and freedom of action.\” I\’m certain. though, that Miiverse proves the latter is not true.

I run a Twitter account called BadMiiversePosts, which posts the strange, creepy, and sometimes sad stuff that users upload to Nintendo’s own little social network. I get a lot of questions like, \”Why is this bad?\” so I thought, for the sake of education, I\’d break down the anatomy of a Bad Miiverse Post.

1. Spelling Mistakes and General Cringe-Worthy Posts
Spelling mistakes always lead to funny moments, but when you realise it’s coupled with a cringe-inducing situation, should you laugh or should you cry? I suggest both, and here’s a classic example to demonstrate this first point.

I shouldn\’t laugh — it’s cruel, really. But the Allan and Nicole saga is the epitome of this first point. The use of colloquialisms and SMS speak is the icing on this terribly sour cake, but Allan’s pursuit of Nicole is heartbreaking, awkward, and brave all at once. Whether it’s the topic of love or seeing these minors discuss a mature subject, something about this particular example just makes me laugh so much. I must advise ongoing viewers to not harass or abuse Allan, as he’s already had enough and you can laugh at the past without getting involved. Just be decent human beings, people. I know Miiverse is anger-inducing at times, but keep it together!

2. Sonic Posts
I really don\’t know what the deal is, but it seems that any Miiverse post that includes Sonic in some shape or form, text or drawing, is just bad and has no contribution to anything. I\’m honestly very worried for the developers working on Sonic Boom. When they release the game and check the Sonic Boom Miiverse community, they\’re going to have a heart attack. Even before and after Sonic’s Super Smash Bros. reveal, the bad posts follow a continuity. Look at the examples below.

I mean, I know Sonic was created to be that edgy, hip version of Mario, but that was over two decades ago. Are children naturally like this or does Sonic transcend his fictional status and subconsciously plant himself into the minds of youths? Moving on.

3. Super Smash Bros. Requests
Probably the most synonymous posts for Bad Miiverse Posts, Super Smash Bros. requests to Bad Miiverse Posts is what rock is to roll, what fish is to chips, and what second place is to Luigi. With a little help from the Please Sakurai blog, we\’ve managed to identify that Masahiro Sakurai appears to be a messiah of sorts, being asked questions and prayed to all the time.

\”Please Sakurai\” is now the official subtitle for the Super Smash Bros. community, alongside its supporting mascot, \”Add Goku, please.\” Seriously, there’s a weird amount of requests for Goku with Steve from Minecraft coming in at a close second. \”Goku can\’t join, he’s a fourth-party character,\” I\’ve seen other Miiverse users use as a rebuttal. Fourth-party, honestly!

Whether it’s a request for a character, ideas for moves, or threats to a fictional character, Sakurai and Namco have a big job on their hands to please everyone.

4. Drawings
I appreciate that a large majority of Miiverse’s users are fairly young, but some of the drawings posted are just completely comical. I like to imagine that it’s actually an aspiring art student trying to break into \”modern art,\” though the end result looks like Michael J. Fox was given a pencil and canvas.

While we\’re on the subject of Miiverse’s young audience, let me swiftly move on to my next point.

5. Modern Gamers Playing Classic Titles
We all got stuck at one point during Metroid or Legend of Zelda or any of the other titles available during the 8- and 16-bit era. While at first I laugh at the users who get stuck at points during these games, I do also sympathise with them. We\’ve all been there at one point or another. Heaven forbid that Sonic 3 gets put on the Virtual Console, I can only imagine how many people won\’t get pass the infamous barrel of doom. Visit the Super Metroid Miiverse community and you\’ll see tons people getting stuck at the same point.

I do feel bad for them, but it is heartwarming to see people help each other to get past these challenges. It’s not all doom and gloom, though; there are some genuinely fantastic posts on Miiverse. The Art Academy: Sketchpad community in particular is home to some amazing drawings.

Finally, we have the Miiverse’s weirdest, worst and most wonderful posts.

And what happens when the best and worst of Miiverse collides? This. This happens.

\"Shrek\"

Someone once said, \”In life, all good things come hard, but wisdom is the hardest to come by.\” It’s my belief that Miiverse proves this statement correct.

I\’m Daniel Switzer and that was Bad Miiverse Posts. To everyone on Twitter who’s helped me to achieve almost 20,000 followers, to everyone who’s made funny videos with the posts, to everyone who has submitted an image, thank you!

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