Ever since Nintendo arbitrarily announced that Super Mario 3D All-Stars, Super Mario Bros. 35, and Game & Watch: Super Mario Bros. will cease to be shipped to stores or digitally available after today, March 31, 2021, people have been making jokes about it. The simple fact of the matter is that this March 31 deadline makes no sense, and the decision has frustrated fans to no end. Nintendo President Doug Bowser’s own explanation saying that the deadline has to do with celebrating the 35th anniversary of Super Mario Bros. didn’t satisfy anyone. Eventually, fans started to just joke about March 31 being the “Mario apocalypse,” or they’ll say that today is the day that Mario dies. However, CNN Business seems to think people are legitimately worried that Mario will die today.
With a headline of “Super Mario Bros fans are panicking over rumors that Mario is going to die,” the CNN article is framed from the perspective of “The internet … freaking out over a rumor about the possible impending death of Mario.” The article accurately describes that March 31 is the delisting date of Super Mario 3D All-Stars and Super Mario Bros. 35, but it treats fans’ tongue-in-cheek tweets about the “death of Mario” as an actual rumor that is worrying Nintendo fans across the internet.
Except, like… no?
Nintendo fans joke all the time about all of Nintendo’s inane decisions. To my knowledge, it doesn’t seem like much of anyone tweeting about how “Mario dies today” is actually serious. They seem to all be in on the joke, while simultaneously bemoaning the fact that some great Super Mario content is going to be vanishing at the end of the day.
We should also keep in mind that Mario is a fictional character and can’t die.
In any case, it’s nice to know that CNN is so concerned about people’s well-being and whether Mario lives or dies today.