Kirby is a pink puff of love that is either adorable or terrifying. While he has many fans of his games and appearances in the Super Smash Bros. franchise, Kirby has had a rough time not looking insane through merchandise. Unfortunately, Team Pupupu Kirby Star Allies has done nothing to assuage our collective fears. The company has announced a new handheld Kirby fan, and it’s not pleasant.
Now is the time for despair
I want everyone to take a look at the following Tweet and tell me that a loving and just God exists:
— Team Pupupu Kirby Star Allies (@teamkirby92) March 26, 2019
I’m sorry to say, Team Pupupu Kirby Star Allies, I’m not crazy about this fan. I am sure you are all wonderful people and have good intentions. However, the abomination above looks quite dangerous and unholy. It also isn’t accurate, because Kirby does not have teeth. He swallows his enemies whole without chewing.
If you can get past the numerous feelings of unease and dread that the Kirby fan conjures, you will get a chance to win the product at one of Japan’s UFO Catchers this July. I hope anyone that does win one will enjoy Kirby’s sweet gusts of air during the summer heat.
Are there any readers interested in making a trek to Japan to obtain the Kirby fan? Will you exorcise the demon within it through fire and flame? Leave us your thoughts in the comment field below!