PETA, an organization known for extreme marketing tactics to get out its message of veganism and respect for animals, has engaged in more of that again today. It has announced that it is petitioning for Nintendo and Masahiro Sakurai to add the PETA mascot, “Not a Nugget,” as a final DLC character for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Not a Nugget would “spotlight animals’ capabilities and encourage gamers to help take down speciesism, the human-supremacist view that allows us to turn sensitive birds into nuggets and eat them.”
In fact, some Nintendo-loving nerd at PETA put a lot of thought into the skill set for the mascot if it were to be added as DLC in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate, including purposely horrifying references to how animals are processed for consumption:
PETA suggests that “Not a Nugget” could use various accompanying items, such as spinach and tofu, available to restore a character’s damage meter; a stun gun repurposed from a slaughterhouse worker to fire deadly bolts of electricity at enemies; and a terrifying grinder, like the ones used by the egg industry to grind up male chicks, to send rivals fleeing. He could have several moves in his arsenal as well, including the Shield (turning into an egg), the Not a Nug Stomp (growing to four times his size to crush nearby characters), and the Super Flap (brushing rivals away with his powerful wings).
Of course, we’re playing right into PETA’s hand by discussing Not a Nugget and the completely ludicrous possibility that Nintendo and Sakurai would ever put the mascot in Super Smash Bros. Ultimate. Obviously PETA does not think this is going to happen. It’s just another marketing tactic to get you to visit its website and maybe become an advocate of its beliefs and policies. The problem is that PETA is so extreme about how it expresses its positions and has been involved in euthanizing tens of thousands of animals, which severely complicates any desire to support the organization.
“We hope Nintendo will jazz up its game by adding our fluffy foe of animal exploitation to the fray,” said PETA Vice President Joel Bartlett. Well, personally, I would rather just go play Smash Bros. with that cool dentist.